Do You Know Anyone with an Eating Disorder?

Since this is Eating Disorder Awareness Week, it seemed like the right time to share a personal story about eating disorders. It starts small; first it’s just a few pounds, but you gradually begin to think that you’re not thin enough when you look in the mirror. You even start to think that you look fat despite your actual appearance. Everything becomes a calculated decision: no more French fries, sodas, sweets, or any other kind of food. Food becomes your enemy and it becomes a complete obsession. This is my eating disorder began.

I was about 5 feet 8 inches and dropped from 135 to 118 pounds. I wasn’t quite bone thin, but I was bordering on becoming too thin. I didn’t reach out for help. Everything was “fine” although I was still fat and never thin enough in my eyes.

I wish I had gotten help for several reasons. First, I wasted so many years thinking and obsessing about what I looked like. Second, I didn’t realize how unhealthy I really was. Even though I was thin, I was sure I wasn’t eating a healthy or balanced diet. Third, I didn’t truly realize my own worth or beauty. I wish that teen girls knew that there is so much more to think about than our size. Hopefully you’ll find tips from other girls like Thu’s post, Do you like your body? We also have a few videos about self image eating disorders on YouTube.

If you think one of your friends has an eating disorder, follow these steps from the National Eating Disorder Association:

Make time to talk. Set aside a time to talk privately about your concerns with your friend. Be open and honest. Make sure to pick a place without distractions.

Express your concerns. Give your friend specific examples of when you were worried about her eating or exercise behaviors. Explain that you think these instances might mean that she needs professional help.

Ask your friend to open up about how she’s feeling. She could talk to a counselor or doctor who knows about eating issues. If you feel comfortable, offer to help your friend make an appointment or go with her to her appointment.

Avoid conflict. If your friend doesn’t admit to a problem, share your feelings again and the reasons behind them. Be a supportive listener.

Don’t place shame, blame, or guilt on your friend. Do not use accusatory “you” statements such as, “You just need to eat” or “You are acting irresponsibly.” Instead, use “I” statements such as, “I’m concerned about you because you refuse to eat breakfast or lunch” or “It makes me afraid to think about what you must be going through.”

Avoid giving simple solutions. Don’t say things such as, “If you’d just stop, then everything would be fine!”

Offer your unwavering support. Remind your friend that you care and want her to be healthy and happy.