What if Your Parents Won’t Let You Date?
June 23, 2011
We have alot of teens asking as what to do if your parents won’t let you date. Our team had a few suggestions to share. For example, one girl told us she isn’t allowed to date until she’s 16 (which is another 2 years)! She’s not sure if she gets asked out if she should say no, or how to do it if she does. Here’s some thing to think about for those of you trying to figure out what to do about your dating dilemma.
#1 When I was younger, I was worried about dating because of my parents too. Try talking to your parents about it. Set some guidelines. Ask if you’re allowed to have a date to a dance. Or if just hanging out with a guy friend and some other people counts as “dating”. Think of what you want to ask them before you bring it up, that way you can figure everything out in one conversation. It’s better to have talked about it with them so you know what you can and cannot do, rather than going behind their back. If a guy asks you out and you would like to say yes, just simply tell him that you would really love to go, but that your parents are strict about dating. Also, ask your parents what they would want you to say in that situation. Most important is that you don’t lie to your parents or go behind their back for the guy. If he really does like you, then he’ll understand that you’re just following your parents wishes and will still want to be friends. You never know, maybe he’ll be the first to ask you out when you turn 16!
#2 I would first ask your parents what exactly do they mean. Some parents mean you can’t go out alone with a guy on dates, but you can have a boyfriend and hang out at school or go out with groups of friends. So first figure out what they are ok with and what they aren’t ok with. Try to remember that your parents always want what is best for you, even when it’s not exactly what you want. But if you do have to say no to someone who ask you out, just answer how you are comfortable with. You can always say something like “I’m sorry, but my parents don’t want me to date until I’m 16 and I respect that” or “I like you, but I’m just not ready for a relationship yet” Just remember it’s only two years, so if you can’t date just enjoy the time you have with your friends. Have fun with them and it will fly by!
If guys start to ask- that’s just the beginning of it all. This means you’ll continue to be asked out so don’t worry about a shortage. But when a guy does ask, make sure to respect your parents wishes. Tell the guy that you’d love to be friends and maybe you can try it in a few years. That way, when you turn 16, you’ll have some guys to choose from and some great lasting friendships.
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