Problems with Friends in Cyberworld

Hey Everyone!

It always seems like I disappear for months, then find my way back! When I started college, I told myself I would have more time to blog and I’d be more committed to this project, but I just keep getting busier! I can’t help it! I have so much going on at school it’s absolutely insane! I guess that’s a good thing though, right?

Being involved is so incredibly important. I’ve met so many people, and I’m learning so much about planning and business, and best of all… myself. I had one experience in particular that helped me learn and fully understand the motive for qualities such as trust and honesty. It’s funny because it was an entire semester experience that was completely HORRIBLE. Looking back, I can almost say with my whole heart that I’m happy it happened because it taught me so much.

At the beginning of the year, as a new friend and I were in that bonding stage, the two of us and another girl became friends and always ate together and ran errands with each other. Everything was great, but I just had this terrible feeling that something wasn’t quite right. Not thinking much of it, I vocalized how I felt to one of them and everything spun completely out of control.

Things took a turn for the worst and our friendship turned upside down when they thought I was starting to instigate something and purposefully start a fight!

The next thing I know, they are avoiding me and claiming that I was sending them nasty text messages. (I later found out these messages were coming from a free text messaging Web site where my cell phone number was being used to make it LOOK LIKE I sent the messages). I denied sending them, but it just got worse. The things I said were turned around and taken out of context. Everything appeared to be all my fault.

To get everything straightened out, I suggested that the three of us sit down and talk with a mediator to get the story straight. The other girls hesitated, but I insisted it be done. After the talk, things dissipated for about a week. The situation got worse. The messages that appeared to be coming from me were meaner and just plain disgusting. I even changed my phone number to prove that the messages were not coming from me. Well, whoever was behind all the messages kept going because they no longer came from my old number, but from a Web site once again. I even received one somewhere along the way. My friend told me that she never thought it was me and didn’t think I was the type of person who would do anything like that.

That must not have been the way she truly felt. She was actually so convinced it was me that she and her boyfriend searched my laptop to see if I was ever on that site. They went to the site and sent her a threatening message from my computer. They also searched my e-mail and social networking profile. They took photos of what they had done to show her mother. Her mother called me and told me they went on my computer, took photos, and was going to call the police since I “threatened her daughters life.”

So much happened between that night and the end of this mess. I eventually filed reports and talked with department heads to get the problem solved. I don’t know what will end up happening to these people. I experienced severe harassment and invasion of privacy which are violations of the school code of conduct.

Here are the points I hope you can take away from my experience:

1. Honesty will always come out on top. There was one thing that was consistent throughout this horrible experience: I told the truth every single time. No matter what situation you’re in, being truthful to yourself, your peers, and your superiors will bring you a sense of calm. Knowing that I didn’t need to defend myself calmed all the fears I had. The truth doesn’t need defending. Be honest with yourself, with your friends, and everyone you encounter. Listen to what your heart tells you. Trust me, it’s hard to ignore. The sooner you listen to it, the sooner you can move on and live! Do the right thing! I know you can!

2. Be careful when you text, spend time on the Internet, and use your cell phone. Keep track of who you give your phone number to and always look at the bill to make sure it matches up with your activity. Don’t be afraid to ask your parents to have a look at it, either. It helped me uncover a few things along the way. I cannot emphasize enough how careful we all need to be with these forms of communication. Everything you do is tracked by IP addresses, cookies, and Internet history. Your cell phone has an IP address too! Not all of those can be deleted. Luckily, those things came in handy for me.

3. Apply what you learn. I learned through all of this that whatever I say will come back to me. Always. Most likely, it will be in some other form of my original words. If there’s something you don’t want other people to know, don’t say it. If you don’t care for someone, keep it to yourself. You can eliminate a lot of gossip that way. Now, I’m not saying you need to keep your mouth shut all the time, but going around spreading things that you wouldn’t want spread about yourself isn’t right. I’m sure you beautiful women already knew that.

Making a come back from this wasn’t easy, let me tell you, but I knew I had to be strong. I had a ton of people around me who love and care about me, and supported me throughout this entire process. At the end of the day, this whole thing made me a better person! I know that I can handle something like this again if it ever happens again (goodness, I hope not!). Everything you experience in life just prepares you for your next challenge.

Good luck, and keep trusting your intuition!