Do Boys Impact Your Self-Esteem?

How would you rate your self-esteem on a scale of 1 to 10? How does that fluctuate when you’re around your friends? Do you feel more  or less confident? What about when you’re around boys? Does that number change? Most girls I talk to have dealt with self-esteem issues in one way or another. I would venture to say all teens and women struggle with self-esteem at some point, I know I still do.

When it comes to boys, it’s important to notice if your self-esteem goes up or down. Take a quick quiz to see how you do. Do you agree or disagree with the following statements:

1. On a scale of 1 to 10, my self-esteem is 8 or greater.
2. I rely on comments from my friends to make me feel better.
3. I depend on attention from guys to make me feel good about myself.
4. I believe I’m a better person if I’m dating someone.
5. I feel good about being myself and about expressing my opinions.

How did you do?

1. Hopefully you agreed, but it’s okay if you didn’t. When I was a teenager I probably would have answered 3 to 5, depending on the day. It’s more important to be aware of where you are on the scale and look for ways to build your self-esteem positively.
2. Although it’s wonderful when our friends compliment us, you hopefully disagreed. We shouldn’t rely on our friends to boost us up because we should be able to find that confidence within ourselves.
3. I hope you disagreed. Guys can be wonderful, but we shouldn’t depend on them to make ourselves feel better. What happens when you break up with the guy you depended on to build you up?
4. You are amazing whether or not you have a boyfriend, so I hope you disagreed. Don’t fall into the trap of believing you have to date someone to be someone. Being single can mean many things. You might not have found the right match, you might be too busy, or your confidence might be intimidating. It’s so important that we stick together as girls and help each other realize that our self-esteem shouldn’t fluctuate based on whether we have a boyfriend.
5. Hopefully you agree and can do this no matter who you are around. I know so many otherwise confident girls who shrink around boys. Don’t let that happen to you.

Whatever you scored on the quiz is okay. It’s more important to be aware of where you stand with your self-esteem and how it’s shaped by the people around you, especially boys. When girls become dependent on boys for improving their self-esteem, they get into situations they regret. You can probably think of a girl who went too far with a guy or dated a jerk just because she was trying to feel better about herself in some way.

Let’s work on sticking together as girls and building each other up. You can also hear other girls sharing their tips and advice on our You Tube channel and check out more tips here. Finally, think about joining our Self-Esteem Challenge. As part of our challenge, we hope to give girls more tips to feel beautiful and confident.