Independent Women

I just heard Kesha’s new single “Your Love is My Drug” and I think girls are stronger than this song makes us out to be. Why do we sit and feel sorry for ourselves after things don’t work out with a guy? It’s a cycle that never seems to end. Almost every girl’s facebook status is about a stupid boy. I’m sick of it because I know we’re better than this.

The only way to persevere is to be confident. Be independent and live for yourself. Don’t rely on a guy to make you happy. You’ve got to love yourself first if you’re going to love someone else.

Are you prom queen material?

Prom is right around the corner, in fact, on Saturday. Our high school, like most, always votes for a prom queen and king. Prom court, homecoming court, and winter formal prince/princesses have been traditions for years.

On the ballot this year are actually people who are genuine. They are all around good-hearted people. They have school spirit, are always smiling, and are friends with everyone. It’s definitely not a popularity contest. I have realized that some people just deserve to be prom queen.

“Prom queen material” is a way to live your life.

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”–Audrey Hepburn

1. Never be selfish to the point where it affects someone else.
2. Seek the good in others, not their flaws.
3. Be confident, but never too independent to ask for help and be gracious for what you are given.
4. Smile and appreciate your life, smile for others, smile for yourself.
5. Be a dreamer. Live with your hopes high and set the bar, knowing you can do anything.

How to Get a Job: Advice for Teens

Are you looking for a job? Well I just got one and I thought I would share some tips on how to get one and how to handle and manage your time well.

1. Apply to different places. Don’t be picky. At first I was so picky saying things like I don’t want to work in fast food and so on. Well if you have that attitude it will be hard to find a job.

2. Give them a call. Once you have applied to places, give them a call around a week later if you have not heard anything. Introduce yourself and say I turned in an application and was wondering if you have had the chance to review it. This will impress them and hopefully they will want to set up a face to face interview.

3. Interview. Once they have called you and asked you a time to set up an interview, make sure you show up at least five minutes early, depending on where you work will depend on what you wear to the interview. But if you are a teen I would look nice with no holes in your jeans and a nice top. You always want to make a good first impression.

4. Call again. If you don’t hear back within a week from the time you got interviewed call them and ask them if they have given you any thought for the position.

5. Getting the job. Once you get the job, make sure you find out important things such as how much you make and around how many hours they think you will be working.

6. Training. Training can be scary and tough. Depending on your job and the people you work with you might be terrified to go do training. But just keep an open mind and try and learn. Everyone goes through training and that phase of not knowing what is going on, you will catch on believe me.

7. Get to know the workers and have fun. While you should always work hard and give your job the best you got, get to know the workers and have fun. You want to be able to enjoy your time at work and not dread it when you are scheduled.

8. Managing your time. If you are in school or have a life out of work like I do you will need to manage your time well. Make sure you make time for yourself, school work, and your job. If you are in school I would recommend only working two days a week and however many days you feel comfortable on the weekend. Make sure you still spend time with your family and friends. It will be overwhelming at first but you will realize how much you can do and still enjoy your life.

After Prom

It is less than two weeks until my prom. At my school, we actually go to a pre-prom assembly the day before. Speakers talk about their drunk driving experiences, and this year we have a reenactment of a car-crash. Basically anyone can go to prom, anyone can buy the tux, and anyone can enjoy a night with their friends.

 

I want all of you to be safe before, during, and after prom. When I think of prom, I think of Jacob Liscombe and Brad Boss. It was an ordinary night. They were two high school junior and seniors, but they were taken from us so unexpectedly. The alcohol and fact that they thought they were invincible cost us two incredible men. Prom always makes me think of the dangers of driving, especially while under the influence.

So when you’re making post-prom plans, make sure you have a designated driver if you do plan to drink. Don’t be driving too late at night, because accidents are more likely to happen at that time. If you see any friend who plans to drive and you saw them with a few drinks, take the keys from them.

There’s always bowling, a bonfire, or watching movies at a friend’s house. Be safe… not sorry.

Everyone Should Make a Bucket List

I am a firm believer that everyone should make a bucket list. My marketing teacher actually made it an assignment to make one.  If you haven’t heard about a ‘bucket list’ it’s basically a list of everything you want to do befor you die. 

The good thing about a bucket list is that we can always add to it as we cross off things that we accomplish. Before summer starts, I hope you take the time to sit down by yourself and list everything you want to do. It’s a reason to actually go out and do those things, and you’ll be able to say that you did what you wanted to in life.

Here’s part of my bucket list:

Sing karaoke in public.
Go to Spain!
Take a dance class.
Go wakeboarding and parasailing.

Learn to write in vietnamese.
Roadtrip down Route 66..

Remember: a bucket list is a reason to do things. It’s a reason to experience and live.  We’d love to hear some of the things on your list!

My Weekend With a Robotic Baby

Last weekend I had a baby stimulator for child development class. This robotic baby was programmed to go off every couples hours during the day and many times during the night and what you had to do was swipe your bracelet and guess what it wanted.

If it wanted food, you had a bottle that had a sensor in the top and in the baby’s mouth that would sense when you put it up to its mouth and it “ate”. If the baby wanted a diaper change, you took one of the diapers and swiped it on the baby’s butt (its got a sensor on the diaper and butt). You also had to rock and burp it. It sounds easy right? WRONG. I was about to kill the baby, because I couldn’t sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. And I only had the baby for a weekend…it really made me think what teen mothers had to go through!

For me, I just had to turn the baby in Monday morning, and then I was done with it. I didn’t have to worry about picking it up or anything. For teen mothers, they don’t have that. Teen mothers also have very little time for anything, such as schoolwork! And real babies aren’t programmed to go off at certain hours, like the robotic baby I had.

What was the point of this project? The main reason was to teach about the life of a mother, but also to prevent teen pregnancies. And believe me when I say Im not gonna get pregnant any time soon. Being a mother was hard work, and this wasn’t even a real baby!

How to Deal with Cyber Bullying

Phoebe Prince’s story reminded us all again we need to do more to prevent bullying in our schools.  Phoebe was a teen who was harassed for months by her peers and her life tragically ended with suicide in January.  Recently, many of the teens who harassed her have faced criminal punishment for their acts.

Whether the bullying is taking place in person or online, it’s never a good thing.  Most news reports suggest much of Phoebe’s bullying was in person, but we know many times cyber bullying has had equally devastating consequences.  In fact, an AP poll release in December found that 50 percent of teens they surveyed had been affected by digital abuse in some way.

Find out what our team at Girls With Dreams thinks about cyber bullying and how you can deal with it.

Bullying and Suicide: Learning from Phoebe

Phoebe Prince’s recent suicide has reminded us again we’re all not doing enough to stop bullying in whatever form it comes:  harassment, name calling, cyber bullying, physical violence, or sexual violence.

Phoebe was only 15 when she committed suicide this January.  This is a complete tragedy.  Yesterday, nine students were charged in various crimes that were committed against Phoebe and even more were diciplined and removed from school today in Massachusetts.

This could have been prevented and should have been prevented.  All of us need to do better:  teens, parents, educators, and mentors to young people.  What do you think teens should do to prevent this type of thing from happening again?  What do you think adults need to do?

Here are a few tips for teens on how to deal with bullying:

-First, look at your situation.  Are you the bully, bystander, victim, or friend?  In Secrets Girls Keep, on page 111, I share a quick quiz where you can figure out which one you are.  Depending on which category you fit in, you might have a different role.

–If you are the victim, I’m truly sorry this is happening to you.  It can feel incredibly lonely and isolating but know that there are many other teens who deal with this too.  You need to start by getting the right support around you.  Find an adult you trust to let them know what is going on.  Create a plan with them where you can be safe and that can work on changing your situation.  Find a grown up who listens and who is willing to help you see this through.

–If you are the bystander, this means you don’t usually start the bullying but you don’t do anything to stop it.  Most teens don’t stop the bully because they are fearful if they stand up to them, then they will be the next victim.  See what you can do to take action.  It might mean you gather a few friends together and you stand up to the bully.  It might mean you privately let an adult know what is going on, or it could mean you offer the victim your support.  Social pressure goes a long way with bullies.  Believe me, I know it’s a difficult road to stand up and take a different path.  Make sure you surround yourself with friends and mentors who can support you.

–If you are a bully, think about how this is working for you.  What do you gain and lose by harassing other kids?  Are you able to put yourself in their shoes for a moment and think about the negative impact you might be having on others?  Have you thought about criminal charges that might be brought up against you?  If you’re ready to make a change, congratulations.  It might not be easy because most likely this has been going on for some time.  It will most likely require talking to an adult you trust and think about getting a counselor to support you.  You help you figure out how bullying others has helped you or hurt you.  They can help you look at how you’ve been bullied if that’s the case and how you can begin to change.

This is clearly just the beginning to figuring out how to deal with bullies.  Watch for more videos, blog posts, and articles related to this important topic.  We all need to do better and take a stand so no more lives like Phoebe’s will be lost.

If you have a question or comment about bullying you’d like to share with us, you can write is at info@girlswithdreams.com with  ADVICE in the subject line.

Teens, Drinking and Driving

It’s a real pressure for many teens:  drinking and driving.  It’s a topic many teens have a hard time talking about with their parents, but it’s one that most face.  The teens at Girls With Dreams know how hard it is to face these issues and share real advice for other teens in this video. 

How do you say no to peer pressure when everyone else is doing it?  How do you stop a friend who is going to drive drunk?  How do you make decisions about drinking when you are a teen?  Find out new ideas for how to handle peer pressure and the issues surrounding teen drinking and driving. 

Do you have something that has worked for you?  Do you have a tough issues with peer pressure you’re facing?  You can send us your questions at info@girlswithdreams.com with ADVICE in the subject line.

How to Not Crack Under Peer Pressure

I’m sure there’s going to be a time when someone wants you to do something you don’t want to, here are some suggestions on how to avoid it.  Whether it’s at school, with friends, or maybe even at prom. 

1. Don’t hang out with people who are going to make you do things you don’t want to, but if you do, at least have another friend there that you know will always have your back.

2. If they ask you to do something in advance tell them you will think about it, or you might already have plans so you will have to check, that way you’re not locking yourself into anything.

3. Let them know whats up. You can say something like “hey sorry but that’s not my thing”.

4. Make suggestions to do something else.

5. Come up with some kind of  “code” with your parents, so if you are in some uncomfortable position they can call you or you can call them and say you have to go home.

6.  Watch the advice video we made about how to deal with peer pressure at prom.

Hopefully you are never in a position you don’t want to be, but if you are be prepared to know how to handle it.

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