Advice on Boy Problems

My friend liked this guy who didn’t like her. He liked me and I liked him. He told her that he didn’t like her and that he liked me. Now she hates me because I’m hanging out with him. She’s calling me ugly and saying she doesn’t know why anyone would like me. She’s being really mean and I just need some help.

Answer from the Girls With Dreams team:

Boy problems aside, your friend is saying mean things because she is upset with you. She must not mean what she is saying, though, because why would she think these mean things about you now if she didn’t believe them before she was upset with you?

You have two questions to ask yourself:

1. Is this boy going to be worth it in the end?
2. Is your friend a true friend if she is acting like this?

I can’t tell you what to do. Only you know the full situation and the personalities of these two people. Before you make any more decisions, you need to sit down by yourself and really think about the situation. Consider the outcomes that will result from each decision. Ask your mom or a close friend that you can trust for their feedback. Plus, sometimes you just need to vent.

As girls, we need to stand by each other and be strong, but maybe your friend is weighing you down. Maybe this boy is ruining your friendship. Maybe you need to forget about the whole situation and pretend like it never happened.

Think about how you would feel if you were in your friend’s situation. How would you want someone to handle it when talking to you?

You and your friend probably need to sit and talk. The key word is talk! Let her know you care about her and you’re sorry for upsetting her, but that you really like this boy. Ask her what she wants from you. What would she want you to do in a perfect world?

Honestly, a lot of friends are going to come and go. Your best friends will stick with you no matter what. Just try not to stir up any more drama as you try to find a solution. Don’t talk about your friend behind her back so you can demonstrate that you’re the bigger person. Hopefully, the two of you can arrive at a peaceful agreement, whether you decide to stay friends or not.

Remember, If you have a question for our team, email us at info@girlswithdreams.com and put ADVICE in the subject line. Look for more great advice from our teens on Girls With Dreams TV and in Carrie’s new book, Secrets Girls Keep.