Dealing with Friends Who Are Drinking and Doing Drugs

What do you do when one of your close friends starts smoking weed, doing drugs or starts drinking? How should you handle it? Do you stage an intervention or do you ignore and continue to let them ruin their life?

Answer from the Girls With Dreams team:

This is a tough question and it’s a problem for a lot of people. I know so many people who have gone down the wrong path because of drugs and drinking. It’s a sad thing. If one of your close friends is doing drugs or drinking, the only thing you can really do is talk to them. Ask them to go to a coffee shop or the mall with you and tell them how you feel. Make sure they know you’re telling them you wish they wouldn’t do drugs because you care about them. If starting the conversation is too hard to do in person, organize your thoughts in a letter or a send them a text. Remember these tips:

1. Use “I” messages. Using phrases such as “I feel…” or “I don’t think this is best” rather than “You need…” or “You should…” removes the blame from them. You want them to know you’re trying to help while not losing them as a friend.
2. Don’t be their mom. Although you’re trying to help them, you might push them away. Say things such as “As a friend, I care about you” instead of trying to tell them what to do.
3. Think of other activities for you and your friend. They might think there is nothing better than doing drugs, but try to show your friend how you can have fun by doing other things. Invite the girls over for a slumber party or go to a movie.

Never stop yourself from doing something because you’re afraid of what people think. Be your own person and help your friend out. That’s what friends are for. True friends are there through thick and thin, through bad time and good times. One day your peers will realize how strong of a person you are for speaking up. And although your friend might get upset with you, she will thank you in the end for caring.

Finally, here’s a few questions to think about:

1. What will you lose by talking to your friend?
2. What will happen if you don’t talk to your friend?
3. If you were in your friend’s position, wouldn’t you want someone to talk to you?

Remember, If you have a question for our team, email us at info@girlswithdreams.com and put ADVICE in the subject line. Look for more great advice from our teens on Girls With Dreams TV and in Carrie’s new book, Secrets Girls Keep.