Dating Advice: Abusive Relationships

Chris Brown’s recent domestic violence charges remind us dating violence can happen to anyone, even a superstar like Rihanna.

Such relationships are more common than you might think. When I was collecting stories for my forthcoming book Secrets Girls Keep, too many girls shared experiences of emotional or physical abuse in their relationships. In fact, these instances happen to at least one in ten girls. Some experts believe this statistic is on the ris. Even though a recent New York Times article suggests some schools are doing more to address this serious problem, we all need to get involved.

Love is Respect has great ideas on their site. Even though Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week just passed, it’s never too late to do something. It starts with each of us and our friends.

• Know the warning signs of dating violence. Excessive put downs, attempts to isolate someone from friends and family, hitting, and unexplained bruieses or marks are only a few of the many signs.
• Stay close to your friends. A recent study suggests one of the best ways to stay safe is to have a close group of friends. Surround yourself with girls who empower you and bring out the best in you.
• If you know someone who is in an unsafe relationship, talk to her about it and confide in a trusted adult to create a safety plan.
• Bring attention to this at your school. Start a ribbon campaign, have a Battle of the Bands Fundraiser for a local women’s shelter, or do presentations in health classes. If you have more ideas, email them to info@girlswithdreams.com.
• Always remember your worth and value isn’t dependent on a guy. You are amazing now! It’s so easy for us to feel like we must have a boyfriend to feel special, important, or good enough. Don’t buy into this. We have to remind each other of this every day!