Dating Advice for Teens Part 3: Balance your Priorities
August 15, 2009
With school starting up, there are a lot of things on our minds. Although you’re busy buying new clothes and stocking up on school supplies, one thing’s always in the back of our minds with a big flashing light: Boys. You summer romance might still be going strong or maybe you’ve found the courage to talk to that guy you’ve always had a crush on. No matter what your boy business is, don’t let it distract you too much.
The important thing now is knowing which is more important: school or guys. I can answer that for you right now. School is more important! You can’t have fun flirting or dating, though, as long as you have the important stuff done. Your first priority should be school and other activities such as sports, school clubs, band, or a job. I have dance three nights a week (although it’s been up to 5 before), and I’m the editor of the podcast at my school.
Although I don’t currently have a boyfriend, I did have one all last year. Somehow I found time to get all my things done, and still spend time with him. He was super busy too, so don’t forget that guys also have other commitments.
Follow these tips to balance your time:
- Figure out how much time to devote to your after-school activities.
- Set aside that amount of time PLUS a little extra for breaks.
- Instead of saving homework for later, do it right when you get home.
Now that that’s out of the way, you have time for the fun things. And don’t forget family!
- Try not to spend every night out. Once you get older and start thinking about moving away to college, you’ll regret missing the family time. Even if that means just watching TV with your parents, it’s important to them.
- If you have a boyfriend, it’s important not to let your friends think you’re ditching them to be with him all the time. It’s also important for your boyfriend to feel like you’re devoting enough time to him. Find a happy balance. If you hung out with your friends all last weekend, spend most of this weekend with your boyfriend. You can even try to include everyone in your plans, if it fits. Your boyfriend can even invite his friends and make it a party! The more the merrier!
- If you don’t have a significant other, but have your eye on the guy you’ve been hanging out with, the same rule applies. Don’t ditch your friends just to chase a guy. You’ll end up losing the guy and possibly losing some friends. I don’t want that happening to you!
There are tons of other ways to balance your time. A lot of it is just getting in a routine that works for you personally.
Have any more good time management ideas? Let us know!
Louder Than Words Online Show Part 5
August 14, 2009
Have you ever wanted to be a teen author? Don’t miss tonight’s conversation with the editor of the new teen memoir series, Lounder Than Words, edited by Deborah Reber. Here are the details for the Louder Than Words Online TV show.
Friday, August 14, 7-8 p.m. CST – Deborah Reber – How to Break Into Publishing for Teen Writers
On Friday, series editor Deborah Reber will answer questions about how teen writers can break into publishing. We are excited to be able to bring you this live series here at Girls With Dreams!
Louder Than Words Online Show Part 4
August 13, 2009
If you haven’t heard of the new teen memoir series, Lounder Than Words, edited by Deborah Reber, you are missing out! In their own words, teens share their raw life experiences and how they’ve dealt with some of life’s toughest challenges.
You won’t want to miss tonight’s live video chat with Deborah Reber and Chelsey Shannon, who used writing as a way to recover from experiencing the unthinkable when her father was murdered the week before her 14th birthday. Here are the details for tonight’s call.
Thursday, August 13, 8-9 p.m. ET – Chelsey Shannon, author of “Chelsey”, Assembling a New Life with Pieces from the Past
Chelsey Shannon talks about fashioning a new life for herself after her father was murdered a week before her 14th birthday and she had to move away from home and school. She’ll talk about overcoming grief, and how she discovered a group of women writers who helped her overcome.
We are excited to be able to bring you this live series here at Girls With Dreams!
Louder Than Words Online Show Part 3
August 12, 2009
If you haven’t heard of the new teen memoir series, Lounder Than Words, edited by Deborah Reber, you are missing out! In their own words, teens share their raw life experiences and how they’ve dealt with some of life’s toughest challenges.
This week, every night at 7 pm Central time you can watch a live video chat with Deborah Reber and the teen authors of this new series. Here are the details for tonight’s call with Emily.
Wednesday, August 12, 7-8 p.m. CST – Emily Smucker, author of “Emily” – Sickness and Faith, Pickles and Cake
Emily Smucker will answer questions about what it’s like getting through senior year with a chronic illness. Emily is a Mennonite but, don’t worry, it’s not contagious. She’ll also talk about blogging and writing books. We are excited to be able to bring you this live series here at Girls With Dreams!
Louder Than Words Online Show Part 2
August 11, 2009
If you haven’t heard of the new teen memoir series, Lounder Than Words, edited by Deborah Reber, you are missing out! In their own words, teens share their raw life experiences and how they’ve dealt with some of life’s toughest challenges.
This week, every night at 7 pm Central you can watch a live video chat with Deborah Reber and the teen authors of this new series. Here are the details for tonight’s call.
Tuesday, August 11, 7-8 p.m. CST – Marni Bates, author of “Marni”, Compulsive Behavior and How the Internet Can Help
Marni Bates answers questions about her book, “Marni.” Marni has trichotillomania — a irresistible desire to pull out her own hair. What do you have? Marni discusses how the Internet helped her understand the problem, and also how she feels about having her secrets revealed in a book. We are excited to be able to bring you this live series here at Girls With Dreams!
Five Easy Ideas to Make Babysitting More Fun
August 11, 2009
So it is just now about 8:oo O’clock on Monday morning, and no, school hasn’t started yet. I’m drinking my second cup of instant coffee, and I am about ready to set off for a day of babysitting. Before I go I thought I could leave some fun ideas for teens looking for a way to keep toddlers and younger children entertained.
Most kids think it’s really cool if they get a chance to eat outside. To them it’s a mini-adventure. So grab a blanket and make a “finger friendly” meal and head out to the back yard or porch.
Have the kids help you make the meal. Always do light cooking, unless asked to do otherwise, but it helps them to feel special and needed. You can never begin boosting confidence too early!
Turn up the music and rock out with the kids. Make sure it is a kid friendly tune, dress up with them, and jump around. The key to this and the other suggestions is not being afraid to look silly. Remember, if kids see that your having fun, they’ll probably being have it too.
Every kid loves to build a blanket fort. Grab some pillows, blankets, and get to it! Don’t be afraid that they’ll be disappointed, to kids a propped up pillow with a blanket thrown on top, is the Taj Mahal.
Play along! when your babysitting, you’re not only an authoritative figure, you’re there to make sure the kids have a good time wile Mom and Dad are away. So build a fort, play pretend games, and just go with the flow.
Louder Than Words Live Video Chat
August 10, 2009
If you haven’t heard of the new teen memoir series, Lounder Than Words, edited by Deborah Reber, you are missing out! In their own words, teens share their raw life experiences and how they’ve dealt with some of life’s toughest challenges.
This week, every night at 7 pm Central you can watch a live video chat with Deborah Reber and the teen authors of this new series. There’s Marni, who brings us inside her secret world of “pulling” and the challenges of surviving high school while trying to hide an obscure stress disorder. Then there’s Emily, who takes us through the senior year that wasn’t when chronic illness forced her to miss out on one of the most important times of her life. And then there’s Chelsey, who used writing as a way to recover from experiencing the unthinkable when her father was murdered the week before her fourteenth birthday.
Monday, August 10, 8-9 p.m. ET – Deborah Reber, How the Louder Than Words Series Came To Be
How were the teen authors chosen? How were the books put together? How much of what happened is true? What has been the most fun part of the project for you? What’s been the hardest part? Are there more books coming? How can I be a Louder Than Words author?
We are excited to be able to bring you this live series here at Girls With Dreams!
Courageous Teens
August 6, 2009
I was recently traveling and met a courageous young woman I wanted to tell you about. This wasn’t courage like rescuing someone from a burning building or a heroic act. It was a silent courage that probably has gone unnoticed by most people. We bumped into each other during traveling and we talked about some of our life experiences. I was so impressed with her courage and determination to be true to herself that I wanted to share some of what I gleaned from her in a short time.
Sydney shared with me a time in her life where she was in a long term relationship that was verbally abusive. She didn’t see how bad things were getting and if it weren’t for one decision of hers, she might still be in a dangerous relationship. She had an argument with her boyfriend and ended things. Shortly after that when she was deciding what to do after highschool she decided to leave her town and go out on her own. Sydney seemed to have bigger visions for her life than anyone around her had ever imagined. I was so impressed with the courage this must have taken her. She told me though that many of her friends have kids now and are probably barely 20 years old. She didn’t want that life for herself. I hope someday that Sydney and I will meet again and maybe she can tell you the story herself in her own words. It is these stories we need to hear from each other.
I admired Sydney because she
- Listened to her intuition. She loved her boyfriend but could see it was not benefiting her and she had the courage to leave. I’ve talked to so many teens who have struggled with dating violence and it’s never easy to figure out what to do.
- Wanted a bigger life for herself. She went out on her own to find herself even though she was the only one of her friends that chose a different path.
- Has kept her passions alive. She is working to support herself but is open to figuring out her next steps and how she can use her talents in the best way.
Miranda’s Book Review of The Burn Journals
August 5, 2009
A book review by Miranda:
I have recently finished reading “The Burn Journals” by Brent Runyon. It was wonderful, though at times a hard read due to the graphic details of some scenes. Over all, the book was fascinating. It was both painful and enlightening. “The Burn Journals” is a real life account of the author who attempted suicide by soaking his bathrobe with gasoline, and burning himself alive. An interesting point through out the book is: not once through out the entire story was Mr. Runyon able to describe the exact reason for his attempted suicide.
I recommend this book to every teen who finds themselves stuck in depression. There is help out there, if only you ask. The book has made it to college’s “Top 20’s Most Recommended” list. The story inspired me personally, calling me to reach out to other teens who may be feeling similar to Mr. Runyon.
Life is the most precious thing we can possibly possess and there is no excuse for intentionally ending it. By allowing yourself to commit such an act you are taking your power, your life, and handing it to the person or thing your trying to escape. You might as well be saying, “Here. Tell me how to feel about myself.” There is always hope, and always someone willing to help. Just ask. You can call the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or visit www.teendepression.org for more specific information about depression and suicide.
Dating Advice for Teens: How To Enforce Your Boundaries
August 4, 2009
We’ve all heard this speech a million times, whether it was from your parents, your teachers, or your grandparents, but I can’t stress it enough. You know your boundaries. Don’t be afraid to enforce them. We can all say “I’d NEVER do that!”, but when it comes down to the wire, a lot of girls are scared to say “no”.
If you haven’t been in this situation yet, chances are you will be eventually. It’s not like in the 1950’s movies when the guy says “If you loved me, you’d have sex with me!” or “Come on, everyone’s doing it!” It’s way different these days. There’s pressure to be sexually active from everywhere: movies, magazines, other girls that make it look cool, shallow guys, and pretty much everything else.
Don’t let all those strings pull you away from who you really are! You know what you’re comfortable with when it comes to being sexually active. If a guy starts doing something you’re not comfortable with, tell him to stop. If you think he’ll stop talking to you for telling him no, then he’s not worth talking to in the first place!
Be honest and clear about your boundaries with a guy before things do get that far. But, if it still doesn’t help, use these tips to tell him NO:
- Talk about it before you get into the heat of the moment. It’s a lot easier on both of you this way.
- Don’t feel like you have to give him a reason. No is enough. You don’t have to explain why you feel the way you do. A no is a NO!
- There are a lot of risks that come up with sex that are easy to forget like STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) and pregnancy. This isn’t something to take lightly.
- If he still doesn’t stop after you’ve clearly said no, LEAVE. If you don’t have a way home, call a friend or trusted adult to come get you. It’s better to wait for a ride at a Wal-Mart than to be forced into something you don’t want to do, for your own good reasons.
- Again, if you think that he’ll stop talking to you for telling him no, then he’s not worth talking to in the first place! This isn’t a time to be worrying about your reputation.
- Lastly, don’t give in! No matter how persistent he is, don’t give in to his reasons. We all know some guys just have that charm you think you can’t resist, but trust me, you can!
