Cotton Candy Friends

These articles are by Vanessa Van Petten who runs RadicalParenting.com a parenting blog written from the kid’s perspective with 80 teen writers. Their goal is to give teens a voice.

“I am having a quarter-life crisis.

And it reminds me of cotton candy…how wonderful at a summer carnival, big pink fluffs of sugary goodness.  Until two hours later, then your teeth hurt a little and you are hungry for real food.

I am (maybe unfortunately) a Facebook Kid.  I was one of the first on Facebook, as Emory was in the second round of entries after the Ivy League Schools.  It was so exciting (still is often times) I could ‘friend’ the hot guy from poli sci, ‘poke’ the hot guy from the party this weekend and spy on my boyfriend’s exes pics.

Now that I am out of college, I am able to remember (and by remember I mean I get a reminder each morning) all of my friends’ birthdays, contact semi-friends in San Fran when I go for the weekend and keep up on the fact that my peeps in New York just went to an Aerosmith concert.

Great, so how does this serve me other than keeping up on pretty superficial (albeit sometimes interesting friendships)?  In the last week I have gotten calls from numerous college friends who are depressed because they have no ‘real friends.’

The teen (and 20 something) social interaction right now is like cotton candy, its fun and tasty for a little while, but after two hours you are hungry for real food, real connection.

My teen intern wrote a fabulous article on how Facebook is changing the definition of friendship and this is my follow-up article on this important issue.

1)    Possessive– “When you get cotton candy, you want it all to yourself…or you better get your share”
I have noticed that my friends and I are getting increasingly catty and possessive.

To read the rest of Vanessa’s article, please visit Cotton Candy Friends

Five Ways Girls Can Be Leaders

These articles are by Vanessa Van Petten who runs RadicalParenting.com, a parenting blog written from the kid’s perspective with 80 teen writers. Their goal is to give teens a voice.

“You can’t write a book, you are just 17, and you are a girl!”

No. Way. I believe that you can do anything you put your mind to, and girls especially have the power to change the world. When I was 17, I realized the gap between parents and teens was growing even deeper, and parents needed to hear from real teens about what their own kids were doing.

It took many months of late nights, spending all of my allowance and babysitting money and working really hard, but I finally self-published a parenting guide from a teen’s perspective—called “You’re Grounded!” That is when I realized that we can do anything we work hard at!

Here are few ways girls, and parents of girls, can be encouraged to take leadership positions early in life—because you can make a difference!

To read the rest of Vanessa’s article visit: Five Ways Girls Can Be Leaders

Define FRENEMY

Last night, I went to the Nickelback concert with my boyfriend for his birthday. We see an old friend out of the blue. My boyfriend’s old crush [from our falling out this summer] was walking with another girl. Let me be the first to admit that I am absolutely a jealous person. Both girls are beautiful, intelligent, and stylish. I said hello to both girls. It might have been an accident that they didn’t notice me.

It just hit me how much girls betray each other. The word FRENEMY comes to my mind, meaning an enemy who disguises as a friend. Why do girls feel intimidated by one another? How come we act like we’re friends but talk behind each others’ backs? There’s a purpose in life, and it’s to embrace every moment.

From now on, I will try to be truthful to my girl friends and my guy friends. It’s okay to trust each other and mean what we say. It’s okay for someone to be better than you. We are all different forms of perfection. Who are we without each other anyway?

Book Review: The Perks On Being A Wallflower

I am a total bookworm. I love getting lost in books, because I can see other aspects of life. Someone recommended the book called The Perks On Being A Wallflower by by Stephen Chbosky. It was a short read about a boy named Charlie who felt unique. He never fit in, but he was incredibly intelligent. The book is written in diary form, and it’s interesting to see his ups and downs. Reading the book made me feel peaceful. I feel like there are people who just sit back and watch as life happens to others. They’re there to protect others and are usually some of the nicest people. So when you’re feeling down or need something new, pick up this nice book. It’ll make you feel like you’re not the only one in the world.

P.S. I read it all in one night. It kept me glued!

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

This morning I woke up late, making my ride to school wait an extra ten minutes. Once I got to school, I realized I forgot my lunch. Good thing I had a couple bucks on me. After I got my lunch and walked to the room I usually eat in, it was locked. After school, I was helping a friend make a video for her cheerleading squad, and NOTHING on the computer was working. On top of that, my ride home showed up early and sat there waiting for me to get done. I eventually just had to leave even though all the video stuff wasn’t fixed. When I got home, my mom called and said she was working late, so I had to clean the kitchen and make dinner.

But I was still in a good mood.

Why? Because I try not to sweat the small stuff.

If you worry about every little thing that goes wrong, you’ll be pulling your hair out all day and nothing will get accomplished. My dad is one of the most pessimistic people I’ve ever met. He thinks the world is ending when one tiny thing goes wrong. So when something serious goes wrong, he just can’t cope with it.

This is something I’ve learned over time. Think about it. Simply getting mad and frustrated at something isn’t going to solve it. And what’s worse, you’re in a horrible mood afterward! Don’t get me wrong, I still have my moments, but I try to keep them at a minimum. It’s actually an effort I have to make.

If a few bad things happen, don’t waste your energy getting mad. I’m not saying to ignore your feelings, though. By all means, solve your problem in the best way you can. But if you’re thinking with a clear mind, it will go a lot smoother and faster, and you can walk away from the situation with a smile. That way when something big really DOES happen, you’ll be better equiped to handle it.

Thoughts on Senior Year

So,  it’s definitely early…it’s 4:30 a.m. and today is the beginning of my last year in high school. To be honest, I’m a little scared. It seems like there are so many things that have to be done: college applications, scholarships, senior pictures, graduation, and maintaining friendships so they last through the years. I’m sure at least some of you are feeling the same as me, and I wish all of you the best of luck! Give it your best, play your hardest, and live like there is no tomorrow! Go class of 2010!

Best Friends For LIfe (BFFL)

Every girl needs a best friend. Someone you aren’t judged by, a personal confidant who may know you better than you know yourself. A best friend is someone that you can trust will your deepest fears, secrets, and just everyday worries. It is important to always surround yourself with people who make you feel confident in who you are, and with your dreams, but a best friend is a step up. They will support you in what you want to do, and will be there until the end. They aren’t negative, jealous, or discouraging, ever.

My best friend and I are actually going to be celebrating our Ten Year “anniversary” soon. It’s become a tradition to celebrate our “anniversary” of friendship. It helps us to remember why we still put up with one another. Just kidding, she’s been an amazing friend to me and has been there for so long, I can’t remember not having her around. Katherine has been the absolute best friend any one could wish for. She’s always willing to listen when I’m upset, and supports me in every dream I want to accomplish. As a positive role model in my life, I have learnt so much from her. She has taught me life lessons one can only learn from sharing priceless memories with a special friend. Over the years I’ve come to realize some things about friendship. So here’s a list of some key characteristics of a true friend:

1. It doesn’t matter what your doing, you’re having fun.

2. The odds that your pal would spread nasty rumors is never in a million.

3. They’ve got your back and you’ve got their’s, even if the odds aren’t stacked in your favor.

4. You respect this person, their beliefs, their values, and support their decisions, unless of course, they are destructive.

5. You can enjoy their company and don’t feel the need to be out doing and talking constantly (I find this to be important in all relationships)

A best friend is a lasting asset. It’s a relationship that you will always remember fondly and will always be able to take some meaning from. Every person comes across your path for a reason, whether t is to teach you something or for you to teach them. With your Best Pal it should be a continuous learning, and teaching experience. Learn from your friend, and be someone’s listening ear!

Can You Really Be You?

If you’ve ever seen the show “10 Things I Hate About You” you know that Bianca is obsessed with trying to become popular. You know that Kat, her sister, could care less about what other people think of her. If we could all choose who we want to be like, we’d probably choose Kat, because she’s fine with the way she is, and doesn’t care what other people think. However, I think most people would truthfully identify themselves with Bianca, even though they don’t want to admit it.

But why? Why do we care what other’s think of us? Do we really need their approval? If we’re comfortable with ourselves the way we are, isn’t that all that matters? Yet, we still find ourselves buying those short skirts that always give us a wedgie, or that shirt you got lots of compliments on, but was too low-cut for your taste.

That’s why, I’ve just decided to stop trying. I made this decision subconsciously  in March, but consciously, I made it this summer. I’m just going to get what I like, like that tutu I got from Hot Topic.  And, I’m just going to wear what I like, like that zebra tie I wore on the first day of school. People can laugh and point all they want, but I won’t let it bother me. They don’t have to like my style. My style is who I am and I’m not going to wear something I don’t want.Now, I’m not saying I don’t have those freak out moments where I panic if someone doesn’t like my huge polka dot bow I wore, or my bright neon green skinny jeans, but since I’ve stopped caring what others thought of me, those moments have happened less and less. 

You’re probably saying “That’s great for you, but I could never pull that off. That’s just not my style.” Well, who’s deciding what your style is? Maybe you don’t want to wear that stuff that’s just out there, like I do, but maybe instead of wearing those 4 inch high heels that you’re always tripping in, wear your sneakers. Or instead of wearing those jeans that you think your thighs look HUGE in, wear sweatpants. As long as you’re comfortable in what you’re wearing, don’t pay attention to what others say. As cliche as that sounds, it’s true. Don’t let others define you as the preppy girl or the punk girl or the girl who always wears low cut shirts and mini skirts. Become YOU. You’d be surprised at how much more confident you’re feel.

Beauty and House Secrets

Looking for a simple beauty secrets and household fixes? Check these out!

• Squeeze a bit of toothpaste directly on a dry erase board and use a wet paper towel to remove permanent marks. (Make sure you clean it spotless, or It’ll be difficult to rewrite on the board)
• Dip your bobby pins in nail polish to easily match your outfits.
• Dry acne by dabbing toothpaste on your blemishes and letting it sit for a while then scrub it off.
• Store eyeliner in the refrigerator to renew it and make it easier to sharpen.
• Gargling with salt water helps cold sores and cuts.
• Orange peels can be mixed with cinnamon sticks or flower petals to create potpourri.
• Orange peels can also be used in place of twigs to help keep a fire burning.
• Run chapstick over scratched c.d.s to help them play without skips.
• Peanut butter will remove gum from your hair.
• Oil can remove the residue from size stickers on jeans.
• Dip Q-Tips in olive oil and run them along zippers to help them run more easily.

We Are Beautiful!

I went to a modeling audition today. I know what most of you are thinking, “Come on Miranda!” And all of you are right. I had an enlightening experience with the agents. They opened my eyes to one of the biggest jokes in our nation: body image! I’m an average-sized girl, but before they even knew more than my height and name, the agent looked at me and said, “Yeah, well, I’m sorry. We actually don’t have anything we could really use you for. You see, you fall into what we would call ‘plus size’ and there is no use for you now. Though there are…”

Yes, I did stop listening. What the agent told me was one of the most insulting things I had ever been told in my entire life. I looked around and felt so self-conscious. Normally, I consider myself a confident person. I’m confident in how I look, walk, talk, think–pretty much everything. This encounter just made me feel so horrible about myself.

I cut the agent off in the middle of her speech about how I could possibly change myself so I could please the modeling world, and be a better me. Something just clicked inside, just like a little me knocking on my forehead yelling, “Hello! Is anyone home? WAKE UP MIRANDA!” I smiled the prettiest smile I could, and said in my most confident voice, “Well that’s okay. I was just trying my luck.” She smiled back and we said our goodbyes. The whole meeting lasted less than one minute. When I explained the conversation to my mother, she wanted to go back and give the agents a piece of her mind. I was glad I had talked to them alone!

The whole experience illustrated how distorted the Hollywood world is. I was turned away for being a healthy weight, without any consideration of my other characteristics. At first I was embarrassed. It was like they announced my deepest fear to the entire world. They made me feel uncomfortable with who I was for a brief moment. I was actually listening to the options the agent had in mind that would help me to become something I’m not. Looking back on the situation, I’m appalled at the fact that I bought into that superficial world, even if it was only for a moment!

Now that I’ve finished rambling, here’s my main message: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Don’t let someone tell you that the number on a scale defines you. The number on a scale is just that, a number. I’m tired of hearing tabloids call Kate Winslet “overweight” or about how a stick figure celebrity sets the standard for how every girl should be.

I promise that I will never look at sickly celebs and wish I could be thinner, or let to someone who doesn’t even know me convince me that I don’t measure up. I AM good enough. I’m good enough for my parents, my sisters, my baby brother, and my friends. Each one of you is good enough, too. Every single girl out there is important and beautiful in her own way.

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