Sexting, Flirting, and Teens

Recent headlines about self made kiddie porn and teen online flirting remind us of the rise of “sexting” and other forms of cyber world dangers. The movie American Teen shows how quickly one topless photo can spread from one person to an entire school. I am curious. Has this happened in most high schools? Do most teens know someone who has sent some type of pornographic photo? The bigger question is why is this happening and what are we going to do about it? Some polls suggest boys have put pressure on girls to do it or that girls are trying to seduce or impress a guy. What do you think?  

Whatever you think about this issue, use these tips to stay safe: 

• Think before you click. As soon as you send a photo or message, it no longer belongs to you and anyone can see it. Would it be okay for your parents, principal, or entire school to see what you sent? You can’t take it back once you send it.
• Feeling pressure? If someone is pressuring you to do something you are not comfortable with, you don’t have to give in. Although it might sound impossible at the time, your self-respect and integriy will get you through the toughest of times. This would be a good time to reach out to friends you trust or even find an adult you can talk to.
• Think twice before you forward. If you receive a pornographic pic, think about the person on the other end of that picture. How would you feel if something like this was being sent about you? You might even want to think about the legal implications of your actions. States are changing laws to include online forms of pornography, and you might be charged with a crime by sending material.
• Girls need to stick together. Most importantly, we need to stick together as girls and help each other out. If one of your friends is thinking about compromising her self-respect, talk to her about it and be a good friend. Similarly, if you get a picture of a topless girl, think twice before you send it to your friends. If you decide to send, you are a part of the problem. We all need to help each other learn how to love and respect ourselves. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I know we can do it!

 

Have You Given Today?

One day, a friend told me to count how many times I said “I”. He wasn’t trying to make me feel selfish, but he made it clear that we think about ourselves too often. There are so many people out there who are less fortunate, and we should appreciate everything that we have in life.

I now have a habit of donating to anyone who is helping a charitable cause. One easy way to give is at www.freerice.com. It’s an interactive way to give to others around the world! You can use this on facebook and help others get involved.

Simplify Valentine’s Day.

I know everyone thinks that Valentine’s Day is this day where everyone has to show someone that they love them and a lot of girls think “It’s just a reminder that I don’t have someone to love” because that is what our society has turned it into. Then, girls with boyfriends think “My boyfriend needs to buy me something nice or it means he doesn’t love me.”

The truth is, Valentine’s Day is just another day. If you are going to celebrate it at all, it should be something fun that’s simple and sweet. Here are a few ideas:

Go to the park for a picnic.

Make dinner for your boyfriend or let him make something for you. If you don’t have a boyfriend, make dinner with a group of friends.

Instead of stressing out about finding the perfect present, put a little twist into your gift-giving. Do something fun like trying to guess each other’s favorite candy.

Make it a fun day just by being together.

If you don’t have a boyfriend, that’s okay too. You can still do something fun with your best friends or something sweet for your mom or dad, or even for your grandma. It might sound cheesy, but they will appreciate it.

Keep More Money in Your Pocket!

If you’re anything like me, you probably lose track of how much money you actually have. I try so hard to keep up with what spend, but I’ll forget one day then give up all-together.

In Personal Finance class at school, I’ve seen how much money you can lose for unnecessary reasons. One way to keep up with your budget is to record how much you spend each day. You can easily set budgets aside for food, gas, and luxuries with the Web site http://www.walletwatcher.com. Take five minutes every day to see how much buying a latte each morning adds up, or how easy it is to save up for an iPhone if you stick to your budget.

Dedication or Motivation?

The average school day is seven hours. I spend about ten hours in school on a daily basis. I basically train myself to manage the eight different clubs I’m in. However, DECA has been my top priority. Yesterday, I was faced with another obstacle. I felt so confident when my school’s group of DECA students went to compete in our business events.

I came out of my tests and interviews feeling as if I aced them but my name wasn’t called when awards came. I hadn’t placed in the top six out of 30. I am getting over the fact that I worked extremely hard. I have to accept that life brings its ups and downs. People will test you and you will fail in some situations, especially a few that you try the hardest at. My dedication for DECA won’t be abandoned. I am more motivated now to do well next year, because It’s my last chance.

A good friend told me, “It’s a club, it doesn’t determine your life.” I will keep strong and know that failing is a push to do better.

Dating Advice: Abusive Relationships

Chris Brown’s recent domestic violence charges remind us dating violence can happen to anyone, even a superstar like Rihanna.

Such relationships are more common than you might think. When I was collecting stories for my forthcoming book Secrets Girls Keep, too many girls shared experiences of emotional or physical abuse in their relationships. In fact, these instances happen to at least one in ten girls. Some experts believe this statistic is on the ris. Even though a recent New York Times article suggests some schools are doing more to address this serious problem, we all need to get involved.

Love is Respect has great ideas on their site. Even though Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week just passed, it’s never too late to do something. It starts with each of us and our friends.

• Know the warning signs of dating violence. Excessive put downs, attempts to isolate someone from friends and family, hitting, and unexplained bruieses or marks are only a few of the many signs.
• Stay close to your friends. A recent study suggests one of the best ways to stay safe is to have a close group of friends. Surround yourself with girls who empower you and bring out the best in you.
• If you know someone who is in an unsafe relationship, talk to her about it and confide in a trusted adult to create a safety plan.
• Bring attention to this at your school. Start a ribbon campaign, have a Battle of the Bands Fundraiser for a local women’s shelter, or do presentations in health classes. If you have more ideas, email them to info@girlswithdreams.com.
• Always remember your worth and value isn’t dependent on a guy. You are amazing now! It’s so easy for us to feel like we must have a boyfriend to feel special, important, or good enough. Don’t buy into this. We have to remind each other of this every day!

Celebrate V-Day Without a Valentine!

I think there is way too much hype surrounding Valentine’s Day. I don’t really remember one Valentine’s Day in high school where I actually had a “valentine” and yet, our media and culture put focus on it so much that it practically makes those who don’t have someone special feel like there must be something wrong with them. Well, if you are one of those girls without a valentine this year, you are not alone! Millions of other girls are in your exact same situation, and it’s okay. Believe me, it’s much better to be single and happy than to be in a relationship with the wrong guy, or just to have a valentine. I know it can be hard, so here are a few tips to get you through this week:

1. Start with you. You have to give yourself the love and attention you deserve and want others to give you. Find a few special things to do such as listening to your favorite music, dancing with friends, treating yourself to a relaxing bath, or watching your favorite movie. Get the idea? Remind yourself you are not a loser because you don’t have a valentine. You are an amazing person! You don’t need a valentine to confirm that for you.

2. It’s all about the love. If Valentine’s Day is really about love, who else in your life do you really appreciate? Your big sis? Your parents? Your best friends? Look for ways to make their day extra special. A simple card letting them know how much you appreciate them will work. You could also plan to spend time together or go out to dinner. Get creative! Making breakfast in bed or washing their car will make their day.

3. Volunteer. Be a giver! When we give, we feel good. Giving is really about spreading the love around in a bigger way. Do you have a favorite place in the community that you like to help out? Reach out and brighten someone else’s day.

4. Don’t be alone! If you’re still in a funk about Valentine’s Day, don’t spend it by yourself. Find a friend to hang out with. If they’re all busy, spend some time with the fam!

We’d love to hear your other Valentine ideas! Email us at info@girlswithdreams.com

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