Dating Advice: My Friends Tease Me for Not Dating.

This week, I was talking to some girls who are in middle school and my stomach began to turn as I heard another crazy story about dating. Yes, things like this happen every day all across America, but it doesn’t make it right! This middle school student was upset because all of her friends were teasing her for not having a boyfriend.

First of all, where is the friendship? Aren’t our friends supposed to like us unconditionally? Just because we start dating at different times doesn’t mean we can’t be friends! And what about this pressure to be with a boy? Where is that coming from? Why have her friends bought into this concept of “I need to have a boyfriend to be somebody” so much? Take a minute to think about the relentless messages about sexuality and dating thrown at young people. So, what can you do if you get into a dating dilemma like this one?

Stay true to yourself. Get quiet and listen to your heart and gut. What is it telling you to do? It might be hard, but staying true to yourself will help to set yourself up for the best scenario. This girl told me she felt like a coward. On the contrary, I told her that taking a stand was courageous, far more courageous than buying into the status quo.

Talk to an adult you trust. Let them know about the situation you are in. Ask them for ideas and input.

Be open to finding new friends. Friends change. Take a look at how you feel around your friends. Are they respecting you? Can you respect them? If you do change friends, the transition can be difficult but you’ll be better off in the end.

Write us at info@girlswithdreams.com and tell us about your dating dilemmas! We want to help.

Friends and Determination

I learned another great lesson about life this week as one of my little boys told me about his adventures in learning how to ride a 2-wheeler. He’s had a bike for a while, but it has training wheels. When he found out there are bikes without training wheels at his school, he became determined to learn how to ride one.

For several days he came home with cuts and bruises on his legs, not complaining, just talking about how he was getting good at balancing and recalling that day’s adventures in learning to ride. The next day, he told me one of his friends was teaching him. It became evident to me that this friend of his went out of his way to spend time with him every day working on this feat. I’d ask him about his biking every day he came home. Just a few days ago, with a huge smile, he told me he did it! He could ride by himself! So, I’m sharing this with you because of what I learned watching this whole process.

Determination is key. He stayed positive, never gave up, and knew he was going to learn how to ride this bike. It didn’t matter how many bumps he endured along the way.

Friendship is key. I’m convinced this friend who worked with him every day played a big part in helping him learn and maintain his confidence and positive attitude. Do you have friends who would do this for you? Are you the kind of friend who would do this for someone else?

He was so full of an innocent pride and happiness when he accomplished this daunting task. We all need more of this! It seems like many girls tend to hide from their accomplishments as and don’t always have the confidence to share their victories. When we have successes, we need to celebrate them!

Get a Free Cookie!

I just heard about a great giveaway I thought I’d share with you! Kashi, the food company, is giving away free cookies. Since it’s made by Kashi, you don’t even have to feel guilty. These are even the kind that are healthy! If you want to find out more you can visit www.kashi.com.

Charice Pempengco is a Big Dreamer!

Have you heard Charice Pempengco sing?  She was featured on www.oprah.com and when I heard her sing, I was completely inspired like many others. For any of you that have dreamed of being a singer or achieving another dream of yours, Cahrice has a lot to teach us.

Growing up in Phillipines presented many challenges and hardships, but she never gave up. She also shared her “Dream Journal” where she expressed her dreams of the future. She had even placed pictures of Celine Dion and herself together. Guess what? That dream came true and she has sung with Celine.

Have you ever started a dream journal or a vision board (a place to put pictures of your dreams)? It’s a great way to get inspired to reach for your dreams.

If you haven’t heard her sing yet, you can go to www.youtube.com or also http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oprahshow/20080908_tows_charice. 

How Can I Eat with Braces?

I’m getting braces in a few days and I just wanted to know what I should indulge in before they’re on. I’ve already snacked on Swedish Fish… you know, those red gummy fish-shaped candies – delicious! Then there’s popcorn which also gets tangled up in braces. So, I’m thinking I might have some popcorn this week, too. If you can relate to this “last meal” of sorts and have any must-have eats to recommend, I’d love to hear your ideas!

College Survival Tips: Freshman Year

Hi Dreamers!

It’s been too long since I’ve taken time to write a post. I’ve been really busy submerging into college life at full speed. I’m hoping that once things slow down a bit, I will be able to update you all more frequently.

So here’s what’s been going on:
I moved into the dorms at Webster University less than a month ago. Let me tell you, move-in day is crazy. Make sure you buy everything you need beforehand because the time you thought you would have to do it disappears fast! It was nice because the students leading our orientation moved in all of my stuff and I didn’t have to lift a finger! How cool is that? Then, my roommate and I spent a good chunk of time finishing our room and getting ready for classes the following Monday. Read more

Homecoming Tips

I couldn’t believe it when I heard that some schools have Homecoming this weekend. Already? I guess we’re halfway through September, though. I was just holding onto summer a little too much. It seems like girls and guys always feel pressure to have the right date for Homecoming. Does this sound familiar?

What if you don’t have a date?

Don’t stress! Use these tips and remember lots of girls and guys don’t have dates, you aren’t alone. Read more

Juggling School and Work

I’m finishing my last year at Texas Tech University. I’m thinking… my last year? Where did the last three years go? I learned and matured a lot during those times. Considering how things have turned out for me, I wouldn’t ever go back and change a thing. I have enjoyed life and am grateful for everything that has made me the mature person I am today, good or bad.

A lot of young girls go through similar stages that help them arrive at a mature point in life. But how do you know when you’ve made it? I asked myself the same question. I am taking 17 hours this semester and still working at least 33 hours a week. I just moved back to Texas to finish my last year, and let me tell you, it’s going to be a challenge! As long as we women set goals, however, we will reach them. Read more

Good Gift Ideas?

Hey Girls!

My boyfriend’s 18th birthday is coming up, and he’s one of those guys that is so hard to shop for. He’s really laidback and not picky, but he never wants anything! I’ve been thinking and I thought I could ask all of you for help. What are some good ideas or gifts you have given guys before? And while we are on this topic, what about gifts for other people. Girlfriends? Parents? Siblings?

I want to hear your ideas!!

Back-to-School Series Tip 4

Tip 4: Find your courage and confidence.

How would you rate your courage quotient at school? Take a look at all areas of your school life: friends, teachers, grades, extracurricular activties, etc. Give yourself a score in each of these areas on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being totally confident.

How did you do? Put a star next to any area where you score an 8 or greater. These are your most confident areas. Ask yourself, what makes you confident in these areas? Next, pick an area where you scored less than 8. Use your skills and talents from your strong areas to help you increase your score here. If you scored below an 8 in all areas, that’s okay too!

Through our surveys, we’ve found that having confidence and courage are some of the main stumbling blocks for girls.

To build your confidence and courage, start small. Ask a friend, teacher, or mentor for support and ideas. You might find a friend you can help just as much as she can help you. Maybe it’s easy for her to raise her hand in class and it’s not a big deal for you to introduce yourself to people you’ve never met. Help each other boost confidence!

Do you have more ideas? Email us at info@girlswithdreams and tell us what confidence builders you’ve used.